While avoiding doing something else, Bradley Green ponders how to overcome the urge to do nothing.

It’s 2AM on a Wednesday morning, the cigarette butts in the ashtray are piling up and I’m no closer to getting things done – I mean anything – this ranges from research for an excursion I was planning on taking, or getting round to replying to my poor worried mother’s email, and then there’s finding my landlord to give him the overdue rent, or simply taking the bins out. It’s a fact, I’m a procrastinator extraordinaire.

If I’m honest, procrastination is very close to laziness. It is however far easier to tell yourself it’s the former rather than being bone idol. Let’s look at the facts, in regards to having not taken the bins out, no thought has to go into this, there is nothing to dwell on. Unless you’re trying to maximise rubbish output whilst minimising trips taken (that took longer than putting the bins out) there really are no excuses. How about my poor mother who just wants to know her little boy’s teeth and limbs are still intact, just respond to her message Bradley!

Now this isn’t a good habit to have but you can somewhat use it to your advantage. Step 1- find yourself an important task you know you will inevitably put off at various stages. Step 2- try and fail to keep concentration on said task. Step 3- whilst avoiding ‘the task’ you will end up mindlessly tidying the flat, taking the bins out, and messaging your mum at long last. “But what about the main objective?” I here you cry. Easy, just find another even more problematic task in order to use the same method to complete the original ‘task’. And from there, you’re on your own.

It feels like procrastination is a relatively new thing that many of us suffer from, although I bet even the ancient Egyptian’s were scratching their heads and sacrificing the odd person so that they could turn a blind eye to the almighty task of constructing the pyramids. Well, perhaps the aliens came to lend a hand. “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, well of course not, Romulus had to first kill his brother Remus, and if you ask me that’s some pretty big divergence from the town blueprints. How about the industrial revolution, it helped the world kick on massively, but you know that took years of pondering over ales and distraction from wenches. It’s definitely been going on for millennia.

Sorry, had to water the plants, or change a light bulb. Where was I? So a while ago I thought as I became more responsible and independent all this would change, I’d grow out of it and everything would be completed in a dash. Yet, it would seem while I’m rapidly approaching 27, I’ve grown into it. With age the tasks, chores and errands pile up, and I’m still trying to figure out how to send a postcard home down at the Central post office. Anyway I must be going, I have to spend a couple of hours looking at the dirty washing before wondering whether today is actually the day to put a wash on. Toodle.